Monday, May 4, 2009

I'm still here...I think

Depression is such a fun thing to live with... even with medication I find myself getting in a funk every now and then. That's where I've been lately in case anyone has been wondering; here but not really "here." I don't know what put me in this funk, but it's lasted a couple of weeks and is tiresome and frustrating.

The bits of sleep I'm allotted during the day have been met with tossing and turning, waking out of nowhere only to find my head spinning with thoughts of the craziness that is my current existence. My already tired state has become numbingly tired, which makes even the easiest task seem unbearable. At least the dishes are clean and I am showered...

I'm still waiting to hear back from the hardship panel who is deciding whether or not I deserve to change my schedule to days. I met with the panel a few days ago and they seemed to not understand why I am unable to find daycare for my children for my current schedule. I work from 7:30 pm until 12:30 am with at least 45 minutes each way for my commute. I wanted to grab each panel member by the collar and scream in their faces, "DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT MY CHILDREN ARE GOING THROUGH?! THEY NEED THEIR MOTHER!!" Ugh.

So for all you who have been checking in only to find the same post sitting stagnant at the top of my blog, I apologize. I've become stuck in some quicksand and, while I know I can get myself out, it's taking longer than expected (or desired).

P.S. I have some amazing friends and family out there who have personally touched my know who you are. I am truly thankful... :)


Anonymous said...

Everyday we all need to be touched by someone who lets know we are cared about, valuable and cherished. You have given that to others as it has been bestowed in return onto you.

Anonymous said...

I know what you are going through...same feelings different circumstances. I'm here if you ever need me...keep plugging away and all will work out. It is just really tough getting there. But worth it once you work through it. I learned a lot of valuable things during my experience so if you ever need anything or ideas to cope you know how to contact me! Take care and you are in my thoughts and prayers daily...Miss