Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A good day

Today has been a good day, plain and simple. This morning Amanda and Brandon excitedly began to play together with cars and blocks, acting like they were having the best time of their short little lives. I lay in my bed listening to them play together, my room cool and my bed deliciously comfy. The window was open and the ceiling fan was turning, and as the kiddos played in the living room I enjoyed the songs whistled by the many birds that inhabit nearby trees.

I felt rested and calm, a feeling I haven't enjoyed in a while. The apartment a mess and the hamper overflowing, I knew I needed to accomplish a few things during the day. Other than that I had no agenda, no deadlines, no expectations. I just wanted to *be*.

Amanda drew a picture for Brandon and wrote a short inscription on the back that read:

For: Brandon Bieske/Harris
From: Amanda Harris/Bieske
P.S. Best buds for maybe ever. But try for it to be forever, and I will try too.

I almost asked who these imposters were and what did they do with my children, but I figured I'd enjoy the wave while it was rolling whether they were really my kids or not.

They did squabble once in a while, but when they ended up in the pool on this hot summer day, they were best buds in their own little make-believe world. For an hour or so, time stood still. The mermaid and the sea-spider, the only inhabitants of the large swimming pool, splashed and had made-up converstaions, and laughed, and played.

I lounged under the shade of the great big trees that overlooked the pool, finishing a book that I had been absorbing for the last week. There was a cool breeze that wafted through, keeping me cool while going completely unnoticed by the sea creatures. It was such a perfect slice of time it was almost surreal. Nothing was wrong, no stress, no arguing, no crying, no tension, no doubt. Just perfection.

As I lounged I received a text from a friend who asked how my job situation was going. It is going well, really well. I officially accepted my promotion almost a week ago, and the minute I received my stripes, I felt an inner strength that had been lacking for what seemed like forever. I was proud of myself for reaching for something higher, for aiming for a goal and achieving it.

While I will have less time with the kids during the day, I will be able to provide for them like never before. We have an understanding that hard situations will not last forever, and that if we are patient, something better will come along. Our shortened time together inevitably becomes the most important time in the world. There are more hugs, there is more appreciation for each other, and not one second is taken for granted.

Today I feel at peace. I feel whole. I feel happier than I have felt in years. I don't know how long the feeling will last, but I will enjoy it all the way to the last drop.


Amy said...

Enjoy the happiness Kim, you deserve it!

Unknown said...

Just reading your post made me go away to a nice warm relaxing place. Good for you! It is so nice to know that your kids are having fun at the exact same time you are getting in some "me" time. :)