Sunday, June 6, 2010


Today at work it was reported that an old-ish woman came through lane such-and-such and said to a screener, "I pooped myself because your lines are too long.  You need to have bathrooms on the checkpoints."

It's a common theme at the airport - anything and everything can and will happen; however, unless you see some of the absurdity first-hand, the stories are always subject to some degree of uncertainty.  With few details, one can only imagine a woman pooping herself.  Was she wearing light pants?  Did it smell?  Did it show?  Did all the other passengers recoil in horror when she exploded?  Or was it more subtle, like a turtle pokin' out?  Maybe she grunted a little and *ploop* out popped a turd, or maybe she lifted a leg and let one rip and sharted?  INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!

But I digress... a glance over to lane such-and-such illuminated at least the consistency of the shit this woman expelled.  There were several overturned bins covering the trail of drippy old-lady dookie, and eventually the cleaning peeps came in and wiped it up.  I think they should have sectioned off that part of the floor and destroyed it.

So the moral of the story is... watch your step.  You're welcome.

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