I love to paint; however, Bob Ross I am not. Clearly. I'm putting this on my blog not because I think it's a masterpiece and everyone should look at it, but because it ties into my last post about perfectionism. As much as I love to paint, I rarely do it. Too much goes into a painting project - I have to be in the right mood, I have to be alone and know I won't be interrupted, I have to have the right amount of time, the right music needs to be playing, the moon must be perfectly aligned with the Big Dipper, and I have to feel the teeniest bit of confidence. I have a better chance of spotting a yeti taking a crap in my back yard.
While the kids are in Denver with their dad over the holiday, I'm using this alone time to dust off the acrylics and brushes and have a crack at a painting or two. This is the most difficult for me - creating a painting. With the push of a button I have a photograph, or with the right fingerings I have a song (even if it makes my ears bleed, it's still a song), and with a pencil I draw what I see and I have a sketch. Painting is far more abstract than my comfort zone cares to allow, which is probably my biggest excuse for not doing it more often.
Most of the time what I paint ends up in the trash because it's far too hideous to keep (stupid inner critic throws a lot of shit away!), let alone show to anyone. So for me to share a painting with anyone other than my kids, and not throw it away, is a huge step for me. I have exposed something that, to me, is glaringly imperfect. When I look at it I see so many things that look bad, or that could have been done better, or how it could look less like it was done by Pong the painting elephant.
Posting my painting and showing its imperfectness to the world gives me just enough of a self-confidence boost to pull out another piece of canvas and have another go, where usually I would have called it quits after only one attempt. Thank you virtual world, I can't wait to see what else I can come up with no matter how perfectly imperfect it turns out to be.