A couple weeks ago a stray cat got into my car and took a piss. Little fucker. I really can't blame anyone but myself...I suppose I may have left a window open after a hot day. Maybe.
I didn't feel like sticking my nose anywhere smelly, so I neglected to do a sniff test to determine exactly where the little fucker peed. Surely it found a comfy spot in a blanket that had been in the car, so I removed the blanket.
Wasn't on the blanket.
I stayed in denial for quite some time, convincing myself the smell was magically going away on its own.
Until a couple days ago.
The kids and I made a very last minute trip to Denver so they could see their dad and so I could see my sexy man. Eight hours in a hot car with no air conditioning makes for a sweaty back. Gross, I know. Every time I leaned forward to cool off my back, the stanky smell of warm, moist cat piss wafted through the air.
Yup...the little fucker chose my seat to do his business.
I took the smell into gas stations. It followed me into rest stop bathrooms. I even took it into McDonald's. A few people may have passed out into their McMuffins as I pretended to not notice I reeked.
I got to Josh's house and had to warn him while we hugged hello...
I'm really sorry, but I smell like cat piss. So good to see you! Now hug me you sexy sexy man.
I only took a couple days worth of clean clothes because we weren't staying long, and I actually had to do a load of wash while I was there. Every time I drove my car I came back smelling like the little fucker's pee.
Josh tried using a car wash's shampoo machine on my seat. Didn't work. He even used the rest of his Febreeze on it. Still didn't work. I prostituted myself to him for repayment every chance I could get, which worked on sooo many levels, but my seat still smelled.
The kids and I drove back today and again, I took the smell of the little fucker's markings with me everywhere I went. As soon as I got home I got ahold of a cleaning agent my dad invented some years ago, and I scrubbed the shit out of my seat.
If that doesn't work I'm going to vacuum seal the damn thing and call it good.
Wish me luck.