I was laying here trying to nap, when I heard a bit of a ruckus among some kids who were playing outside. Since Amanda was a part of the ruckus, I headed out to go see who was gonna get the
I poked my head out the door - What's goin' on guys?
Amanda saw me and ran up the stairs, asserting her need to talk to me as she hurried inside. She was in a tizzy, her body all herky-jerky, her hands wringing, her face squirming into a cry as she talked and blurted and hyperventilated her tragedy to me.
Mom I didn't mean to do it, I swear I swear I just meant to pour the juice over Calvin's head, not the oranges!
Huh? You poured orange juice on his head? Wha?
I just wanted to pour the juice on him and all the oranges came out too! Mom I'm so sorry I swear I didn't mean for that to happen, I was just so angry because he wouldn't leave us alone and he was swinging a toy sword around trying to hit us while we were on our bikes, I told him a thousand times to leave us alone and he wouldn't, and it just made me SO ANGRY!
(lightbulb finally on) Ok, so you had a cup of mandarin oranges and you accidentally poured all the oranges on his head instead of just the juice.
Yes.
Why are you so upset?
**wiping tears** I don't know...
Do you feel bad about what you did?
NO.
Are you afraid I'm gonna get mad?
**nodding** Uh huh...kind of...
>>Let me sidebar here for a minute, go on a tirade if I may - Since we moved into this apartment complex back in May, this fucking little shit Calvin has been a royal pain in the ass. He's around my kids' ages and lives in the row of townhouses that neighbor our complex, and since there are kids over here, he's always here looking for and causing trouble. He's a bully and a trouble maker, and he knows it. I've told him many times to get lost and leave all of the kids alone, not just mine. Juvie probably has Calvin's name already on the roster and a bunk ready and waiting! UGH. End of tirade.<<
Now where was I...
I looked Amanda square in the eyes - You know good and well he deserved whatever he had coming to him and in no way am I angry for what you did. Stay put...
At that point I walked outside and headed down the stairs with my arm stretched and my creaky long finger pointed to his house.
GO HOME CALVIN. GET OUT OF HERE, NOW. YOU WERE TOLD TO KNOCK IT OFF AND YOU DIDN'T, AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHY AMANDA DID THAT YOU YOU. RIGHT?
Calvin nodded.
GO AWAY AND GO HOME. NOW!!!
And off he went.
It took my girl, the one who refuses to let anyone rattle her, a good ten minutes to finally calm herself down. We talked about the incident and why she became so unnerved.
I poured it onto his head and just stared at my hands like this (a look of horror spread across her face). I couldn't believe I had done that, a goodie-goodie like me! I was just shocked at myself and I didn't know what to do...
It was good for her to unravel a little. It was good for her to react in a way that wasn't normal to her. It was good that she did something about this kid (although it was an odd something to do), take responsibility for it, and feel the rush of uncertainty that followed.
Who knows what she will take from this, what will resurface when she gets all rattly again.
Maybe it has taught her to stop for a second and think about what she's going to do before her rebel clashes with her goodie-goodie.
Maybe it has taught her that it's ok to get riled up, that shaking her core won't forever crumble her spirit.
Any way you look at it this experience will only make her stronger, and the awesome thing is, she knows it.
***Forgot to add one little amusing tidbit, my
:)
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This is a perfect example of the regular posts I want to dedicate to Amanda, titled "Life Lessons with Amanda," just as I have begun with Brandon's "Comic Relief."
Amanda is an old soul, always growing, far more mature than her age. She often comes up with bits of wisdom, or experiences in her life, that end up in deep conversations between the two of us. So whenever she does something that shows her maturity, or that is an example of a lesson that she experienced or that we can learn from her, I'll post it with the above name.
I'll tell you what, if I didn't have kids I wouldn't have anything to talk about!
19 comments:
Kim,
If calvin upsets little Amanda again, call me. I will fly over there and teach him about the meaning of the word "escalation." It wont involve any liquid, just solid oranges! Big ones. ;-)
Dean
http://leftcoastguy.com
LC Guy I'll be on the horn asap! :)
Good for her! You know what's funny, when I was a kid, the biggest jerk in my neighborhood was also named Calvin. He remained a prick all through high school too. I ran into him about five years after high school, and he was actually one of the nicest people you could talk to... apologized for being such an ass and always trying to impress people etc...
Hopefully your Calvin makes the same realizations, if sooner than mine. ...or just goes away...
What a coincidence Matt! I hope he grows out of it - so nice when they are able to grow up and actually apologize. How cool of your *friend* to do that.
--CALVIN. What a perfect name for a little shit !!
haha so cute
Inner Chick, I know right?! I couldn't tell you which townhouse he lives in, but sure enough every night I hear his mom call nice and loud, CAAALLLVIIINNNN!!
I want to go over and tell her to lock that little shit up!
:)
The things you say about your daughter people use to say about me as a kid. Old soul, doesn't let others rattle her/him and such not. But in my life as I grew I had a few out bursts like she did. I punched a kid once, I told a bully to F- off and die and I heald firm against a teacher who I thought was being mean (and got a detension for it).
The point being the nicer you are as a person the harder it gets to deal with others being not so nice!
I think it's the simplicity of kids that can teach us a lot. :)
I love your reaction to what Amanda told you. So many times, we try to be the bigger person and let bullies run all over us. This will teach Amanda a valuable lesson. To stand up for herself.
btw - I had a Calvin in my neighborhood and he was a total shit too. Must be the dumb name.
Like I always say to Ash "ignore em' and if that doesn't work aim for the nose!"
I Love you
Josh
I just wanted you to know that I gave you an award in my post today! :)
~Bersercules, I always try to teach my kids to be *kind* to others...I do my best not to use *nice,* I don't like that word it's so passive and just beggs to be walked all over. I say, do what you have to do to take care of business...no matter what it is! Good for you for standing your ground, but I'm sure it's been a difficult road to pave.
~Hit It, when bullies are concerned, there is no such thing as being the bigger person. I say they deserve what's coming to them! Problem is, my kids are so afraid of getting in trouble they won't lay a finger on people who are bullies. Hence the way Amanda reacted just at pouring a few orange slices on his head. We're aways working on it though.
~Josh that's what I say, now if I could convince my two to think the same way!
~tracirz yes so cute! But so sad too...makes me want to do the punching on her behalf. :)
~my day in a sentence, THANK YOU!!! That totally made my day!
This is nice, we could learn a lot earlier from each other, certainly more manners would be nice, maybe some basic rules on how to treat other humans, I don't think there are a lot of those nowadays.
There was a boy in my son's kindergarten class named Calvin and he was a menace. Luckily, they moved halfway through the year. I try to like all children....that is not always possible.
She probably wanted the oranges bud didn't want the juice. That Calvin better fly straight.
great blog
following
I like the name Calvin. Reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes.
Tell her she is awesome ;)
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