Dialing it in

Since my last post I've had a number of ups and downs, days where I feel I can at the very least cope with existence, but also days where I just want to kick and scream and shut myself off from the world indefinitely.

I've made some changes in the last week or so, changes that I have been hoping would help my mental status, kind of a last ditch effort before calling my doctor to be put onto an anti-depressant again.  Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against being medicated per se, but I really want to see if there are things I'm doing in my daily life that are exacerbating, or even possibly causing me to struggle so much mentally.  I decided to try, just for the month of November, to cut some things out of my diet, namely my addictions to Diet Dr. Pepper and sugar-free Red Bull, and alcohol.  I didn't want to approach it as I'm quitting these things for good, never again will I partake!  Instead I've simply wondered if eliminating them would make me feel better in all three main areas of my life - physical, mental, and spiritual.

So far I'm on day five of no soda or alcohol, and a few days ago I had a Red Bull because work was extremely taxing and I needed a boost before completely melting in to the floor as I hauled a thousand pounds of flooring with a pallet jack.  I chug water like it's going out of style, and every time I crave something I just remind myself that god dammit I want to feel good, and I can't keep feeling sorry for myself if I keep choosing to put things into my body that make me feel like shit.

I have begun taking an adrenal supplement, as I've suffered from adrenal fatigue in the past (this is generally caused by stress and can result in depression, fatigue, and restless sleep, among other things).  In my debilitating mental state of late I hadn't even thought about adrenal fatigue being a problem, so once that hit me I got a bottle of supplements from the health food store and began taking them immediately.

This weekend I slept A. LOT.  Three nights of 8-9 hours of sleep, OH MY GLOB did I need the sleep!

This morning has been the best I've felt in a very long time.  I awoke feeling rested, I had a great workout, and I was able to settle in for about ten minutes of meditation, something I've had difficulties with for quite some time now.

Bottom line, here's the formula that seems to be helping (keep fingers crossed!):  Adequate sleep, adrenal supplementation, no soda/energy drinks, and no alcohol.  It isn't easy, but I'll continue to focus on whatever seems to be working because I deserve to not only give myself the opportunity to live a happy, fulfilling life, but my kids and Erik deserve the best of me as well.

In a week or so I'll check in again to see if my formula is still working.  WISH ME LUCK!