We don't want to see your bagpipes

Since this is a family-friendly blog, I will do my best to keep this post as clean as possible. I wasn't going to write about this experience, but at the encouragement of a dear friend (who, by the way, coined the term *bagpipes* for this particular incident) I decided to give it a whirl.

Yesterday afternoon an older gentleman (in his late 60s maybe?) came through the checkpoint wearing a kilt. Lucky for him, he required additional screening. As he was getting ready to be screened, a couple of us were wondering if he was wearing the traditional undergarments that are worn underneath a kilt. What is traditionally worn beneath a kilt you ask? Nothing. Nada. Au naturel.

Not two seconds later he took a seat, and guess what - he. was. traditional. Our lives flashed before our eyes as we witnessed his bagpipes in all their glory. I put my hand to my mouth, horrified that he was on display for the world to see, when I made eye contact with his wife who was watching everything. She gave me a creepy wink as if to say, "Yes, his bagpipes are magnificent, aren't they?"

I hurried to the x-ray area where I hid out, wanting to curl up into the fetal position while digging my eyes out with my ballpoint pen. When I thought they were gone and the coast was clear, I made my way to the other lane when, as if to give me one last shock to my system, I saw him sitting again with his bagpipes proudly hanging off the edge of the seat.

Before I go any further, let me clarify something: While I do find the male figure both beautiful and amazing, there is a time and place for the display of its goods. An airport security checkpoint is neither the proper time nor the place to parade said goods.

So if any of you men out there find it necessary to travel while traditionally wearing a kilt please remember one thing: We don't want to see your junk! We have a job to do and can not...I repeat can not be productive when there is the threat of exposed fleshy man-parts. Thank you and as always, happy travels. :)