Friday, April 17, 2009

Day 17...financial aid

I have thirty minutes until it's officially day 18, so I need to hurry! Anyhoo, today was a day of reckoning, a day of putting my pride in my pocket and allowing myself to go where I swore I would never set foot. The social services office. Yep, I applied for food stamps...I mean "Food Assistance." Somehow the word "Assistance" feels better than the word "STAMPS". I envision myself stuck in front of a huge line at Wal Mart with a book of stamps, counting one at a time, feeling crushed by the glares of the onlookers. Ugh.

I never wanted to find myself in this office. It carries a stigma of POVERTY...POOR...SAD...PATHETIC...need I go on? Despite this debilitating stigma, I know that I can not support two kids and myself on my income alone. I am a hard worker, I have found myself in a very sudden, very tight financial situation...so I entered that room with my head held high. I know that every penny that is given to me will be well-spent to feed my little ones. I know that I'm not milking the system, and that when I am on my feet I will no longer accept government aid because I will no longer need it. I know that I will not abuse the system, and that the money given to me will be very well spent.

While I'm not proud to be on government assistance, it is my reality right now. It won't last forever, and it will help me keep food in my babies' bellies. I can go without but they can not. Things will look up and I will look back with gratitude that my government...my fellow taxpayers...helped me out. I will not disappoint.

6 comments:

amanda said...

It's not pathetic. It's for good, hard-working people like you, who got dealt a low blow and we know you won't abuse it. I'm proud of you.

Anonymous said...

Everyday people are forced to make difficult decisions. The fact you battled a personal dilema with taking aid demonstrates you would not just milk the system. I have made very difficult decisions as well and totally understand the difficulty in going down that road. I think you should be proud of yourself and the dedication you show to your children. This should be a lesson to them that when life seems dire, a person can gather the strength to pull themselves up, ask for help, use resources wisely and thrive. Sounds like you are making those hard choices and I am confident it will work out for all of you. Keep up the good work!

Tim said...

Assistance is the correct term, these types of benefits are there for those in transition. Every hour you have worked and will work, you are helping finance this system and you should not feel bad about taking a little out when times dictate. I will always be glad and happy to contribute to a system that helps those, such as you, who need a little assistance to get by for awhile.

Marcy said...

Kim, I am so proud of you. You are continuing to impress me! I cannot imagine what you are going through. Your children are so lucky to have you as their role model! :)

Anonymous said...

It's okay! It is better than the other choice to not have full custody. I don't look down at you at all!

Bridget said...

Thank you for being so honest and sharing what your going through. I am going through something similar. It's rough and people like you and me never thought we'd be here but here we are...