Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Water under the bridge

Dave's mom is in town for the holiday, and tonight I was invited over to his sister's house for dinner (where his mom is staying). I accepted without hesitation, as I have always enjoyed visiting with his sister and her family and knew it would be a good time despite turmoil that has been going with us. I never feared any arguments with his mom or sister and trusted that nothing would get ugly.

As I predicted, we immediately established that the water was under the bridge and gone, and I was met with a big hug from my mother-in-law that silently said, let's heal this wound...please. No words were necessary, as I felt the same. Nothing needed to be discussed, we just needed to all share the time together as a family, along with Dave's other sister and her ailing husband who came from out of town.

It was a little surreal, the lot of us sitting around enjoying the beautiful evening, eating Carol's delicious homemade pizza while the kids swam and jumped on the trampoline. It was as if nothing ever happened and that's OK with me. The man I am divorcing sat beside me and we were able to share the time with our kids without anger and hostility, which is far more important to me than being right about whatever is difficult in our lives right now.

There is a time and a place for hashing out the nuts and bolts of divorce, and tonight was not the time. It is so important to know that we can live with civility and humor, even if it means putting our differences in a lock box and stashing it away for a weekend so that we can enjoy life for what may be a small window of opportunity or a huge open door forever. Only time will tell.

I've been invited back the rest of the weekend if I'm up to it after my long workdays. If I'm not dead as a doornail when I step off the bus tomorrow evening, you bet your buns I will show up for an hour or so. I have no family even close to Denver, so I appreciate not having to sit home alone during a time when togetherness is the best part of the holiday.

Peace and love...

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