Today was a great day, and I say this with delight because I started the day determined to make it a great one. And you know what? It worked. Nothing spectacular happened - no fireworks, no celebrity sightings at the airport, no old ladies pooping or grabbing their boobs. Just a feeling of happiness and peace.
I was almost home free for the day until this evening when I had a minor meltdown. Let's just say it involved the attempted purchase of salt. If I tell you any more than that I'll have to kill you, and that will make for a very bad day.
To add insult to injury, I began to cry because of feelings of frustration. A lot of frustration. I communicated something to the kids about said frustration (who by the way, had nothing to do with why I was feeling like I was), and went into the bathroom to blow my nose and get a grip. When I came out I heard sniffling coming from the couch where my sweet little boy was in tears.
Through my own snot-stuffed nose I asked him why he was crying, to which he replied through his little muffled cries, "I just feel BAD for you..." I went over and held him on my lap, feeling even worse that I made him feel bad. So there we were, feeding our own little destructive cycle of making each other feel worse for making each other feel bad. It wasn't the healthiest of communication, but I got a wicked hug out of the deal.
Brandon disappeared into his room and emerged with his arms loaded with his four most prized stuffies. "You can sleep with these tonight, Mama." Knowing better than to turn down the mother of all sacrifices, I scooped the stuffies into my arms and thanked him from the bottom of my heart.
In an instant Amanda was offering her own sacrifice as well, her "Dora blankie" and one of her favorite stuffies. If you learn one thing from this post, let it be this: Amanda does NOT, under ANY circumstances, part with her "Dora blankie" at night. It is her lifeline, her Alpha and her Omega, her nocturnal salvation. I was tempted to question her sanity, but instead gave her a giant hug through the mound of stuffies and blanket.
But wait! There's MORE!! Brandon had to have the last word, and topped the pile with his own first-ever quilt, the one made by one of his grandmas. The blanket/stuffie sundae was complete and I was set for a night of immersion in the best love a mama could ever ask for. Next to the kids themselves, there's nothing better than being surrounded by what matters to them most. I loved that they not only wanted me to feel secure in their love, but they trusted me with the treasures of their little lives.
Goodnight and sweet dreams...