Thursday, April 7, 2011
I need warmth, sunlight, and pretty greenery now more than I have in a long time. A really long time. I know up here in northern Wyoming I can't expect the seasons to be well, seasonal, but it would be nice if things made sense from one day to the next. Yesterday was sunny and gorgeous and here we are today...snow, rain, sleet, and more snow.
I find myself at a point in life that I always hope I'll never find myself in, but can't seem to avoid. I hate my job. I mean, I really HATE. MY. JOB. I find myself riddled with anxiety the night before, knowing I have to wake up and do it all over again at an ungodly hour, and I have to fight back tears of frustration while I'm there.
I used to very much enjoy my job at TSA and I can point the change in feelings to two things: management and TSA as a whole. I know those are two very broad reasons, but unfortunately I can't go into a whole lot of detail with either. Let's just say that the way the joint is run and the way things are handled (and I've learned it doesn't matter whether there are seven or 700 of us, it's all broken) is embarrassing. And as far as TSA goes, I would say that I don't believe in its mission, but I'm not entirely confident even TSA knows its mission. In short...its a joke and has become one of the worst organizations I've ever worked for.
Having said that, I have been looking for a new job but again, two things have held me back. First and foremost, a change would mean big changes for the kids, as my income would undoubtedly plummet and my schedule would change. I fear those would throw us all off after having successfully transplanted ourselves into a whole new realm six months ago. Secondly, what I'm finding are jobs that either pay minimum wage or require a degree (think Pizza Hut or OR nurse).
So tonight, after spending much of my time after work and before picking up the kids from school bawling like a baby, I sat down with them and let them know my dilemma. Amanda said immediately, "Mom, get a new job...we're happy if you're happy. You have to be happy Mom, it's not worth it if you aren't." Brandon had a few concerns (mainly with the schedule) but nothing we can't work with.
With my kids' blessings I will search harder and do whatever it takes to find something that doesn't leave me in a pile at the end of the day. If anyone has anything available in Cody, PLEASE let me know...