Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sqatters

I could lie and say that it's a spider bite - er.... two spider bites on my forehead.  Or maybe I got attacked by a couple of mosquitoes.  Or that it's a mystery rash that evolved after I inhaled small particles of decay from a hairy slimy sink drain.

No.  No, I will not lie.  Yesterday two squatters appeared on my forehead.  They are called zits, or pimples for those of you who aren't ever afflicted (and I will call you people fuckers).  One is big enough it appears to be trying to speak, while the other just sits there and gives the gift that keeps on giving (you know, when you think you've taken care of it but it just keeps refilling...don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!)

So let's name these two who will not leave...


Batman and Robin?

Lavern and Shirley...

Thing 1 and Thing 2!

Hmmmmm....Mork and Mindy.

Tell you what - you call them what you want, just don't call 'em late for dinner (har har).  No really, they get angry and growl...




The big one, let's call it Hiroshima, is swollen as shit.  I've drawn a circle around the swollen part so you can see how far the shock wave has reached.  I'll tell you what, that fucker is gonna blow like a son of a bitch when she's ready.

So if you see me at work or around town, go ahead and make fun of my super-zits.  They are always looking for fresh meat...



6 comments:

Timothy Bowen said...

I named my beard. It's fun to name things. :)

Roxy said...

Thelma & Loiuse?

My cleavage is covered with tiny spots post holiday
SHowing offf my tan? Not so much!
Pffff

Bersercules said...

It looks like a vampire bit your forehead!
And if the big one is Hiroshima is the small one Bikini Atoll?

Left Coast Guy said...

Nothing can diminish the beauty that is you.

Dean
http://leftcoastguy.com

Mrs. Tuna said...

You could wear a very stylish headband like Olivia Newton John.....

Linda Medrano said...

Oh Honey, I'm sorry. I hate it when that happens! Fred and Ginger?