Tuesday, March 20, 2012

What's in your bag?

At the clinic we just went to, one thing that really stuck out in my mind (and the kids' minds too), was the almost 50-pound backpack they had us lift.  Inside the bag were rather large rocks, each having a word written onto it.  There were rocks that said Fear, Anger, Abuse, Secrets, Sad, Problems, etc, and everyone has these, or rocks like them in their own bags.

They demonstrated that an addict carries around their tremendously heavy backpack, and the only time they can set it down for relief and not worry about it, is when they drink or use drugs.  Then that wears off and they have to wear their bag again.  Pretty soon, it takes more and more of the addiction in order to take that heavy bag off their shoulders.

So, addiction or no addiction, we all have our own bag full of heavy rocks.  Maybe you are filled with guilt for a reason only you know, so in your bag of rocks is a rock that says Guilt;  maybe there is a big rock that is heavy with Anger; maybe your rock is Fear.  There are so many rocks in our bags that weigh us down.  I might actually paint some rocks of my own and put them in a bag as a visual representation of what I'm carrying with me.

The other day after Amanda had her nerve-wracking talk with her dad, she said it felt so good to get some of those rocks out of her bag.  Yes!!  I love when they learn things and apply them to situations in their lives.  If she keeps up this desire to take care of what's in the fucking bag of life's problems, I think she'll be a giant step in the right direction of good mental health.

Now Brandon's bag...I have a very hard time telling how heavy his bag is, let alone what's in it.  He just doesn't talk a lot about feelings.  Typical boy.  I don't know how, but I'll find my way into his bag - I'm a mother and mothers have ways.

I would say that talking about those rocks with someone is probably the best way to remove  those rocks out of the bag.  If you are guilty about something, talk about it!  If you're angry with someone, talk about it.  But until then, there are better ways to relieve ourselves of the pressures of life than with alcohol or drugs.

So since we shouldn't drink, or do drugs, or overeat, or whatever we do that's an unhealthy way in which to relieve us from the pain of the bag, what do we do?

Here are a few:






Play with kids


Bitch session with a  friend

Bitch session with a therapist

What would you add to that list?  What do you do to help set that bag down once in a while?


My Name is Jacy said...

This is great! Can I please add the word 'dignified' in front of bitch session though?? haha! My counselor believes I can always be dignified- even if it's being a "dignified bitch" :) lol

I've started golfing- but sometimes, depending on how I play, the pain bag gets heavier :)

I just joined a gym and I love it. TOTALLY helps me to let steam off.

Obviously I'm writing on my new blog and LOVING it! So therapeutic for me.

I'm also trying to get involved more in my community and service. I feel like if we get lost in helping OTHERS, we aren't able to focus on our pain as much.

Oh, and I'm going to get a monthly massage starting next week, too. That always helps!

You are a really great mom and I love what you write. I think this can help ANYONE.. no matter what the situation is!

Thanks for sharing this!

Keith Wynn said...

Nice post! Exercise is definitely my avenue...or nature hikes.

Steve said...

Excellent article KIm! For me writing has always been the number 1 way to get relief, but volunteering and doing things for others are always good too. I used to write letters to people I was upset with. Never sent them, but it was so good to get the poison out. I learned that all I needed was to get the crap out of me, there really wasn't any reason to give it to some one else. It seems that our bags contain the effects of something bad that was done to us by someone else. So anything we can do that is good for us or shows a love of self would help us drop the bag for a while. Anyway, thanks again for sharing this story. You rock!

Jayne said...

A beautiful piece, my friend. I can say with great relief that I've reached a place in my life where there are no more rocks in the bag. Sure, it came with a few gray hairs and lines, but I wouldn't turn back time for anything. Visit my place. My current post may speak to you.

The Accidental Somebody said...

Wow, I really didn't know if it was possible to be free from the rocks. This gives me hope. :) I have just read your post and am trying to comment if my computer will just let me already. It was awesome and spoke volumes to me...thank you.