Every time I watch one of those damn Disney princess movies, the latest being Tangled (which is my FAVORITE), I am left feeling so incredibly bummed. I want a Prince Charming dammit. Believe me when I say that happily ever after is a myth, but shit, I'd settle for at least another go at it, as scary as the prospect is.
In my desire for a man, I've been fairly selfish, focusing on what I want and need. It already goes without saying that I would never pick someone who my kids didn't adore, so I guess in that respect I'm not completely selfish. I've always held on tight to the fact that my kids already have a dad and that he needs no replacement, so any man I welcome into our lives would simply be a bonus.
After this latest debacle with the ex, the latest in a line of so many I've lost count, a surprising yet clear feeling washed over me - my kids need a new dad. They need someone they can count on, someone who they know, without a doubt, won't be calling to check in from a rehab center. Someone who gives fatherly advice, who will do anything and everything to be present in their lives. Someone who teaches them those things only a father can teach.
Last night Amanda and I were deep in conversation and we came across this very subject. She said I need a father figure. I need someone who will set a good example. Dad isn't really my dad anymore - he isn't in my life other than to talk to on the phone or computer every night, and that's only if he's not drunk, or in the hospital, or in rehab.
So now when I make my wishes for a man to love, I not only put in my order for my wants and needs, but I make sure to ask for someone who can step in for my children where someone else has failed. Surely there's someone out there tailor made just for us.
Who knows, maybe we're tailor made just for him too.