Sunday, April 22, 2012

Bitter truth

Every time I watch one of those damn Disney princess movies, the latest being Tangled (which is my FAVORITE), I am left feeling so incredibly bummed.  I want a Prince Charming dammit.  Believe me when I say that happily ever after is a myth, but shit, I'd settle for at least another go at it, as scary as the prospect is.

In my desire for a man, I've been fairly selfish, focusing on what I want and need.  It already goes without saying that I would never pick someone who my kids didn't adore, so I guess in that respect I'm not completely selfish.  I've always held on tight to the fact that my kids already have a dad and that he needs no replacement, so any man I welcome into our lives would simply be a bonus.

Until now.

After this latest debacle with the ex, the latest in a line of so many I've lost count, a surprising yet clear feeling washed over me - my kids need a new dad.  They need someone they can count on, someone who they know, without a doubt, won't be calling to check in from a rehab center.  Someone who gives fatherly advice, who will do anything and everything to be present in their lives.  Someone who teaches them those things only a father can teach.

Last night Amanda and I were deep in conversation and we came across this very subject.  She said I need a father figure.  I need someone who will set a good example.  Dad isn't really my dad anymore - he isn't in my life other than to talk to on the phone or computer every night, and that's only if he's not drunk, or in the hospital, or in rehab.

So now when I make my wishes for a man to love, I not only put in my order for my wants and needs, but I make sure to ask for someone who can step in for my children where someone else has failed.  Surely there's someone out there tailor made just for us.

Who knows, maybe we're tailor made just for him too.


   


10 comments:

Stacia said...

I can so relate to this. Being the Mom of 2 kids without a father/dad figure in their lives is SUPER tough. Neither of my son's bio fathers are involved. They have awesome coaches (they are both very active in sports, and granted this doesn't replace, it just adds some good men into their lives) and teachers they look up to, and there are times I feel I've falied at thier mother due to not having that other person being around, my shitty choices. I do what I can as their Mom and support system. As far as dating, I would hope that when I do date, that I just choose a nice guy with morals and values that would want to be friends with my kids. I feel for you. It's frustrating at times. You're a good Mom, and you're putting their wants and needs right up there with yours.

And by the way, have you seen all those Disney princesses AFTER the fairytale? Prince Charming is passed out on the couch or at the bar, and the princess is looking a little frazzled because she't taking care of all those kids at home!!! Damn you Walt Disney!!

(((hugs)))

an other said...

I think you need to be more selfish. It will be even worse if you meet a guy that your kids love but then you don't.

Stop trying to check all the boxes, just be the woman you want to be first, then see if the rest falls into place with regard to your children. They won't be happy unless you are, completely, so you need to focus on yourself first.

Diana...aka...MeMe said...

Amen!

Keith Wynn said...

Serendipity will lead you to the person of your dreams, and lead him to you. Try to look at everything as something leading up to that spectacular moment...

The Accidental Somebody said...

Loved this comment Keith - I always need a reminder to let go and just let life happen.

The Accidental Somebody said...

I very much agree! I assure you, I won't settle for someone just because he makes my kids happy. Thank you so much for your comment. :)

The Accidental Somebody said...

If my kids had more male role models in their lives it would be easier. My brother does live here and certainly helps when he can, but he is raising two very young girls and is very busy in his own life. They both need a father figure, for different yet many of the same reasons, and I do always worry how not having one will affect their future lives.

Steve Bailey said...

Hey sounds like you guys are due for some good luck in this department... cause a dad should definitely be there when needed... I hope you find him.

The Accidental Somebody said...

Thanks Steve - I couldn't agree more!!

Anonymous said...

Your time has come I surely hope!AJM