Since changing my schedule to days, I have seen a quantifiable change within myself. I am balanced, my depression has lifted, I am happy and centered. While I'm still not sleeping through the night (I awake often, unsure of what time it is, slightly panicked that I have overslept) I feel rested. I feel calmer, more confident with my abilities to handle stress that happens; I feel at peace.
There is still a chance I might get the promotion which would mean the following: Good side...better pay by almost $15,000 per year, experience, job security. Bad side...at the mercy of scheduling which means I could be stuck with the graveyard shift or something else just as crappy = back to square ONE; my kids being in daycare for up to ten hours a day (twelve hours if I'm stuck with a split-shift) three days a week; no pay increase. So if I'm promoted, do I accept or decline?
I am truly hoping they pass me over. Getting the hardship so I could work days was a battle, one I was fortunate to win. I'm not sure I have it in me to have to make a decision that would ask me to put a price on my mental and physical well-being and the well-being of my kids. I just don't think it's worth it. Right now they have a much better mom than they have ever had which in turn affects their own lives. They are doing well, I am doing well.
...
"I never apologize. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am." ~Homer Simpson
2 comments:
I think you have more options than take less pay and more sanity vs more pay and less sanity. With the day job you already have, you may be able to take up a second job which could potentially pay more than your promotion would, and allow you to have more control over your schedule.
I am so glad for you. I hope that the right decision, as far as your shift and promotion, is made clear to you.
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