Who am I

Who am I
in the quiet of the night
my thoughts are my own
resounding, pounding, confusing

Who am I
when the children are asleep
resting their bodies,
renewing their spirits

Who am I
when I am not Mom,
when I am not friend,
when I am not colleague

Who am I
after the phone stops ringing
the notebook quiets its chiming
the silence becomes deafening

I am a woman who is afraid.

I am afraid of
existing in loneliness
becoming consumed by my doubts
questioning my purpose

I am afraid of
being forgotten, a nobody
boring, plain, undesirable
unsatisfactory


I am afraid that
when things go right
it may signify the end,
a life undeserving of reward

I am a woman with hope

I hope that all I see about myself
the person standing  before the mirror
the woman fixed in its reflection,
will learn to love herself

I hope that I can become
my own best friend
a woman of unconditional
self-love and appreciation

I hope that one day
I will be able to see
to appreciate
to believe

I hope that I can stop-
stop being afraid of myself
stop being afraid of the silence
stop being afraid of failing

I hope that I can erase the fear
that controls my every thought
every action
every move

I hope that I can be strong.