Saturday, April 10, 2010

Being OK with the pain

I just got home from another workout, one where I ran for twenty minutes and did strength training on my back and biceps. After a full day of hectic, stressful, tiring, exhausting work.

I was just thinking about how strength training works, about how lifting weights tears down the muscle, and with proper rest and nutrition the muscle becomes bigger and stronger. Muscles need stress in order to grow.

So... and I'm about to get all philosophical here don't puke... I can relate building muscle to what I'm going through in my life. I deal with SO much stress, whether it is work related, kid related, ex-related, or otherwise, it is constant.

I was recently blessed with a new asshole, as a "friend" of mine chewed me a new one as a result of a reaction I had to one of the biggest stressors in my and my children's lives. I won't go into detail, just trust me on this one.

Here's the part where I merge muscle building with life-learning (get yer puke buckets). I was torn down by my "friend". I am torn down. Stress tears me down. People tear me down. Events tear me down. How I react to and handle what tears me down is what allows me to grow much stronger than I will ever realize.

I am learning to weed out the dead weight. That "friend"? Gone. I don't need her. I am stronger for that decision. Supportive people in my life? I lean on them. I am stronger for who they are and what they provide to me. My kids? The most nutritious and healthy, healing beings I will ever know. I am nothing without them.

So while I am trying to make my body healthy and strong, I realize that I am constantly strengthening my soul and my spirit. While the tearing-down and the stress is painful, it is necessary in order to build up the weak parts of me.

Maybe one day I'll learn to appreciate the pain, understanding that it's vital to the growth and health of the whole of who I am. As I learn I can teach my children to be whole themselves, to know that the hard parts make them better in the long run. I can teach them while they are little and give them the necessary tools to adequately deal with the pain that will inevitably come to them throughout their lives.

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