Then when I finished I nearly vomited from the dizzying apparitions of my email inbox folders appearing out of nowhere, the lost images of the World Wide Web dissolving into my scattered internet-withdrawaled brain.
Scary shit I tell you.
As soon as we arrived back home the first thing I did was pull out my computer, ready to sink into the couch and get myself buzzed off wireless vibes.
Laptop on lap...kids sucked into the TV...Mama was ready...
No connection.
What the fuck.
Error messages, dropped connections, unable to connect. Over and over and over again.
I "WHAT THE FUCKED" for about two days...
Tonight I was finally able to log on, and where I expected the rush of internet adrenaline, all I felt was
Huh.
I was off the grid for a few days and Mother Earth never fell off her axis; Superman didn't need to fly around the earth counter-clockwise to fix the horrific damage of my non-existence; no one even really gave a shit I was gone.
But...but...but...
Doesn't my life depend on how connected I am to the words and images I see on my screen every day? Won't I go into anaphylactic shock if I don't connect to whomever the fuck is out there happening to connect with me at the same time?
I guess not.
So now, instead of starting each day with my regular doses of facebook, People online, and Yahoo, I'm going to break out the yoga mat, stretch like the lynx I am not, drink hot tea and meditate, and feel eternally grateful for the abundance I have in my life.
Yeah, fuck that shit.
I'm totally gonna log on and get my internet buzz on, bitches.
Every fuckin day.
13 comments:
Well I actually wondered why you're NOT posting, but then I thought you're all loved up with Josh somewhere :P
So there, I missed you.
On another note that remark about yoga made me think.. hmmm I could do that in the evenings-stretch for about an hour. But I am good at thinking about shit like that and never actually making it real. Anyway...
I spend my days in front of computer at work so I have recently consciously stopped switching it on when I come home and boy do I find plenty of other things to do.
Yeah, we can't fuckin do without it.
You make me laugh...! I thought you were still sick that was why we hadn't heard from you. I need my internet too. I should be exercising right now but instead I am sitting here drinking coffee and surfing! How did we survive without it. Ten years ago, I don't think I had it in my home...now it is a daily staple!
Ha! For a moment I thought you'd gone all "Downward Facing Dog" or whatever on us! It's a drug for me too...
I do enjoy yoga once in a while, it will just never replace my many cravings for the unhealthy. :)
Sick? No. Shoulder/arm issues - WORSE. Crap!! Anyway, I should be exercising too - maybe I'll watch a youtube video on how to break a sweat. That should count for something, right?
Never ever ever never never ever never. Will never be able to live without it.
Roxy I WAS all loved up with Josh - it was a very good week with him and I'm missing him so much! Thank you for missing me! Now I need to go catch up on your neck of the woods and see how Poland is faring.
:)
Visiting from our friend, Quirky's place. I've had the same experience and feel your pain. Personally, I blame the Obama administration. ;)
When my internet goes out, I go into panic mode. How can I check my horoscope? How can I see who emailed me? How can I check on Herman Cain's mistress count? How can I look up "Quirks of Rhodesian Ridgebacks"? Yeah, I'm shallow but where else do I go?
Hi Jayne! Who doesn't blame the Obama administration...
Thanks for grabbing my button. I'm grabbing yours right back!
Sweet, thank you!
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