Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Ew.

I'm having issues.  I mean SERIOUS issues.  Issues that will keep me forever single and alone.  My kids are afraid to be near me sometimes.  I am afraid to be near me sometimes.

Some sort of change is happening to me some nights while I sleep.  Think Fiona/ogre kind of change.

I drool when I sleep - this isn't anything particularly new, but it's getting worse.

And I wake myself up snoring.

And drenched in sweat.

When we were in Denver, the first night the kids rock/paper/scissored to see who I would *get* to sleep with first.  When Amanda came up the winner she jokingly complained to her brother that he could have me because I'm gross.

I slept with Brandon that night instead, without complaint from Amanda.  The next morning she apologized for making fun of me and that she was just joking.

Mmm hmmmm.

This shit makes me sad because I don't like to be icky.

Somebody make a joke out of this please.  Say something ridiculous to make me laugh.  At least then while I'm swimming with my sheets I can be in a good mood.



16 comments:

Steve said...

Let's see..... drooling, sweating, snoring? Please tell me you fart in your sleep and I'm on the next plane! I swear to God Kim, I've never wanted you more!
Steve

esbboston.blogspot.com said...

If you can learn to snore loud enough at just the right time, you can be your own alarm clock.

Anonymous said...

Kim I would pay a gazillion dollars to have you drooling on my soulder, my bed, snoring like crazy, Hell, puke all over the place! I'd leave it there forever! I wouldn't think you were icky at all!! In fact it would be a happy reminder to me HAHA!!!!! You are the hottest chick in ....THE WORLD!!!!!! SWEAR!!!!!

Me

Anonymous said...

And don't be too hard on youself you know the rules:)

Me

Roksana Podgorska said...

Pah-lease it's everything that men do. We're equals these days, no?

A Daft Scots Lass said...

At least you won't die of Dry Mouth Syndrome!

Keith Wynn said...

Look at the bright side...snoring could ward off burglars!!! :-)

Eviltwinswife said...

Whenever we go on trips, my daughter and I share a bed and my husband and son *should* share a bed, but my son brings his sleeping bag and sleeps on the floor - "Because daddy snores, sweats and has bad breath."

The Accidental Somebody said...

Haha poor dad! But then again he probably likes the bed to himself anyway. :)

The Accidental Somebody said...

If I did it consistently, maybe - but my snores come in a loud burst here and there. :/

The Accidental Somebody said...

You can die of something like that??

The Accidental Somebody said...

Well if I start growing chest hair I'm done.

The Accidental Somebody said...

I think I'd prefer that over the sound of my actual alarm clock - must learn to snore on cue.

The Accidental Somebody said...

Oh FARTING, how could I forget the occasional blast of beef stew?!

Sandra said...

My first thought is 'menopause' but you're too young for that! (How's that for cheering you up? :) ...but seriously, I do think you're too young...no, seriously...

The Flying Tortoise said...

Well when I had menopause I didn't snore but I'm sorry, I apologise. This isn't about me, me, ,me, this is about her, her, her...